Question 3

1.       A section that I found most meaningful this week was to “Make Daily Choices That Enhance Intimacy.” I find that a lot of people who are in long term relationships or have been in marriages for a long time either remark on the fact they are “happily in love” or have “fallen out of love”—mostly due to the excuse “we are no longer sexually there” or “he/she doesn’t act the same way” or what have you. I think that these are all excuses and it is their own fault; it is us that “choose who we will be and what kind of relationship we will fashion” (Woods, 318). Whether you have a busy schedule due to work or children, never get comfortable with neglecting your spouse or loved one. It is our responsibility to maintain a loving and healthy relationship, regardless of who it may be—it takes two. Woods could not say it any better but that “intimate partners choose to sustain closeness or let it wither, to build defensive  or supportive climates, to rely on destructive or constructive communication to deal with conflict, to fulfill or betray trust, and enhance or diminish each other’s self-concepts” (Woods, 318). Think of one thing you like your partner does on a daily basis, whether it’s bringing you your coffee in the morning to remembering your favorite treat and buying it at the store for you. These things are considered the little things, and in most relationships these occur in the beginning stages, but why do we let them fade? That is our fault if that happened. Make this a continuing effort, and create more of them—more likes and more memories. These are the little things we long for and should continue to want to do for our loved ones to sustain an intimate relationship. So quit making excuses and start making choices that will continue to enhance the quality of your relationship now.

Evolving Marriages.

1.       Knowing our society has become more advanced and more open to new ideas, we have witnessed changes that have never been done before—like gay marriages, higher divorce rates and more women in the work force obtaining higher power. These types of changes have truly changed our society according to some people. Over the next 50 years there is going to be change not only in our marriages, but the way families operate and handle things. Our society is changing every day, and the more we let it take over, the more it will also take over our family as well. Change in this world has brought a lot of technological advances into our lives and with small changes like these and too much of them it can eventually destroy family time and the way we interact with each other—which essentially is the building block for marriage and family.

Family.

1.       I believe a family is a very big commitment, not just for a married couple but also a commitment to the family members you bring into this world—you have a responsibility as an adult to take care of the people who you love and have created. Often times neglect comes into play and can cause things like divorce and split homes/families for children, and I believe that is wrong. I understand that things happen overtime whether they are for the good or for the worse, but you made a vow to commit to a person and that is a promise a person should consider forever, especially when bringing children into this world. Family members to me in my perspective provide love, support, and friendships that last a lifetime. My family is important to me, despite the fact my family is small, and my parents being divorced (which is why I support and believe in building a strong family from the beginning), I treasure and value them daily. I believe family is there for advice and to talk when you have good things happening in your life or bad; I believe family is your support system and should be there in any time of need for love and comfort. Based on the family relationships discussed in the book, I believe that establishing a family is most important, and to plan your expectations from the get go. I do not typically agree with enlarging a family unless you are financially ready and able; because without doing this, you can create many financial burdens and unnecessary problems in your family life. I believe in encouraging independence, but not neglect. Making sure your child or spouse has freedom is very important to become a healthy and successful adult in the future.

Dimensions of A Romantic Relationship. Q3

The concept I found most interesting this week was the: Dimensions of a Romantic Relationship. This section was comprised of passion, commitment, and intimacy which are all important parts of a loving and successful relationship. I think the reason this section caught my attention so quickly was because of the relationship I am currently in with my boyfriend and how well it is going. We started out as friends for a long time and slowly immersed ourselves into a relationship after a lot of thought. We both had strong feelings for one another the whole time we were friends, but could never act on them because of certain things, and until the timing was right for the both of us. The passion we had for one other not only physically, but emotionally is what initially drew us together. Later we both realized we were two very committed people not only relationship wise but in life and fitness as well; this made us grow even closer knowing we had very similar personalities and goals in our lives. With all of these attributes we discovered in one another, it simply made our attraction grow stronger, both passionately and intimately. Building a strong, symbolic, and committed friendship before engaging in a relationship is what I believe set the tone for us now, and continues to feed our relationship; knowing how comfortable we both are at sharing things allows us to continue growing together as a team.

Love or Commitment.

I have certainly experience both types of relationships—love and commitment. I was in a relationship for almost five years and loving him and being committed to him was all I knew how to do. For the most part this was a loving relationship where we grew together but later I grew apart. I certainly know that he was my first “true love” and the impact he played at that particular time in my life still affects me, as well as the choices I make today as far as other loving relationships go. In terms of a committed relationship, I think those are relationships we have with our friends or our managers. I have a duty and that is to be truthful and honest to these people regardless of the outcome. With a friend whether it ends our friendship or makes it grow fonder; and with my boss it’s being honest and committed to my work and succeeding as an employee. The impact of a committed relationship vs. a loving one is that love is more emotional where committed relationships are more social and have less of an emotional impact on a person.

Online Scam or Face-to-face Scam?

I believe there can be deceit in an online relationship just as much as in a face-to-face relationship. From experience,  knowing online it is easier to play as someone you’re not, in chat rooms for instance, simply because you can describe yourself with your “A/S/L”—age, sex, and location. It is a lot easier to portray a false image online because you can type what you please (whether or not it is true) and send pictures (they may be you or an imposter) and you are virtually interacting with the person on the other end. In comparison to a face-to-face relationship where majority of your contact is face-to-face, the person cannot hide themselves or their flaws as easily. When I was younger and chat rooms were popular, I would always describe myself as someone I wanted to look like—“5’5, blue eyes, brown hair ECT.” Looking back on this I laugh at myself because today I am completely content and comfortable in my own skin. Back then I was always comfortable, so I don’t understand why I portrayed a false image of myself. As I think about it, I think it was wrong and unethical to misrepresent myself and to lie giving someone on the other end false information and satisfaction in it; I still think it is wrong. Going back to the question on if deception is more likely online or face-to-face, I believe it can be done both ways. Someone can write a novel about who they are and what they do, send fake or real pictures (with real they can also be deceiving), and portray themselves as someone they are not just as equally as face-to face relationships. Although, in face-to-face relationships someone’s appearance may be more difficult to modify, they can still act and be a completely different person than who they really are. People can transform themselves into whoever they want to be regardless of a virtual or real world.