Own Up.

The section I appreciated and related to most was learning how to "own your own feelings and thoughts." I am a victim of using “you” language often, putting most the pressure on the other person if and when in an argument. Reflecting on this week and making an effort to only rely on “I” language when a conflict came up, made a huge difference in my relationships. I personally have a great relationship with my mother; but when it comes to certain things we both don’t agree on, I often find us arguing. I put this to the test by changing how I voiced my own opinions despite the way my mom approached me in a situation. Realizing that it’s how we interpret what others say that creates ruckus or not, made me value this section.  Whether we feel an issue is our fault or not, at the end of the day we are the ones in full control; we are responsible for our own feelings and by getting defensive in conversation it can lead to a whole new dispute. I recognized that the problem with me and my mom is that we both use “you” language, and this combined is a nightmare. By making small adjustments with the way I spoke, despite her opinions, allowed us to not get into a blown up disagreement.

It did feel a bit awkward to use at first, but knowing it can help my relationship with one of the people I appreciate most in my life, makes it all worth it. It also taught me that with anyone it can turn a discrepancy around; not just with family or friends. I found that as I became more comfortable using it, and as I use it more, it can be very beneficial for many reasons. The first being that people will not get so defensive and rally back. It allows you to open up to a person and voice your genuine opinion.  Finally, it allows us to own what we say and take responsibility for us; it allows us to not let others control our emotions.